Archive for the ‘Mindfulness’ Category

Mindfulness and Perfectionism

Posted on: November 2nd, 2011 by susie No Comments

I had the chance recently to rake some autumn leaves in my parents back yard, what fun! Reminded me of doing this activity with my brothers when we were kids and making huge piles of leaves to jump and play in.  I remember that we tried to involve the cats as well by hiding them under piles of leaves but as I recall they were less than thrilled to participate.  Oddly enough, the other thing that came to mind while raking leaves was noticing my tendency toward perfectionism.

Doing something well is one thing, then there is a level at which anxiety can set in around trying to do something unrealistically well, or “perfectly”.  In the case of the leaves, I noticed myself feeling frustrated that as I was gathering my nice little piles and putting them in the organic waste cart, it didn’t seem like I was accomplishing anything because more were falling and they were blowing off the piles back to where I had raked.  (And yes, the whole issue could have been helped by waiting until ALL the leaves were down before attempting to rake them up, but as it happened I didn’t have time to wait for that).  To someone without perfectionist tendencies, this might sound strange.  Rake the leaves, gather them up, you’re finished, move on, right?

I read a book a while ago called “Present Perfect: A Mindfulness Approach to Letting Go of Perfectionism and the Need for Control” by Pavel Somov, Ph.D.  It’s probably one I could easily read through again to be reminded of how to use mindfulness to combat that niggling feeling that something isn’t yet good enough.  He presents a strong argument that everything is always good enough in the present moment, because at that moment it couldn’t be anything other than what it is.  He talks about overcoming guilt and shame, which are often part of a perfectionist mindset, as well as having a healthy relationship with time and with uncertainty.

Back to the leaves for a moment, I was able to remind myself that I’m was never going to be able to pick up every last leaf, and not only that, there was no need to!  I did the task in a way that was good enough, and was then able to enjoy the experience more fully as well.  There is really nothing like the lovely crisp, sweet smell of dry leaves gathered in a pile… it’s perfect.

Here’s to accepting and making peace with each moment – just as it is.

Mindfulness: A Cure for Mindless Mayhem

Posted on: September 21st, 2011 by susie No Comments

Do you ever find yourself putting something away in the cupboard that belongs in the fridge, or forgetting your umbrella/phone/pants and walking out the door (ok, maybe not the pants), or going into a room and not knowing what you went in there for?  I know when these things happen for me, it’s because I’m off “in my head” and not actually present with what I’m currently doing.

I’ve become more and more aware of how there seems to be a constant swirling cloud of thoughts, plans, worries, regrets and wonderings going on in my head, and it can really feel overwhelming at times.  The practice of something called mindfulness has helped me combat the ‘mindless mayhem’ that results in being forgetful and feeling scattered and anxious.

Jon Kabat-Zinn defines mindfulness as “paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally.”  It’s about deliberately noticing what I’m doing in any given moment, and not evaluating it as good or bad, liking or disliking it, or having to change it in any way.

Mindfulness can be practiced with any task, for example, washing dishes.  So rather than a) rushing through washing them and feeling irritated about having to do this and/or b) being completely absent from the task and spending the entire time thinking about (or stressing about) other things, I can practice being present and aware of what I’m doing.  I can pay attention by noticing the smell of the soap, feel the water on my skin, hear the dishes clank against each other as I set them to dry, and be conscious and present with this experience and awake to the moment that I’m in.

Besides picking a daily routine task in which to practice mindfulness, the three minute breathing space is another simple but deliberate way of spending – you guessed it – just three minutes being present and aware.  I explain this in the article on stress that you can receive by signing up to receive my monthly newsletter.  As well, I found a lovely one page summary on cultivating mindfulness by Jon Kabat-Zinn.  He refers to meditation, which can be done more formally, or as he says, meditation can be how you live your life.  I felt more present and grounded just by reading it:

And now I will go and mindfully clean out the litter box. : )

Here’s to being alive and awake to each moment as it unfolds.